Maximize your parenting potential by being a lifelong learner.

I started to assess my life as a parent and the overall parenting paradigm which is so heavily based on love, sacrifice, giving and nurturing. I love being a parent, my greatest accomplishment, however what was eye opening was the one dimensional giving. As a parent we are so motivated to give to the offspring that we often forget about the 'Self' that allows for all that giving to be possible. Most parents spend a lot of time guiding children and making plans for what they should do next to carefully craft a well defined future. We enroll them in classes, we train them on so many life skills, we open their mind and help balance a point of view that will allow for far reaching success.

Although financial stability is very important, and may be a prime focus for many, my question is where and when possible, why as a parent do we have the tendency to be just a teacher to our children?  As a parent who is also a teacher, teaching their child to be more and do more, why are we not following in their footsteps and being more, doing more every step of the way.  Why are we not along side our kids in being students for life, to stay ahead of the learning curve and thus continue to be helpful to our children and not feel outdated?  Some ways to make this happen are staying within the learning cycle, remaining educated via courses, dialogue, reading and formal study.  I find that there comes a point in time when the scales shift, children almost surpass our abilities to be able to teach them because right through the time that we spent teaching our kids, and not learning anything new, they kept catching up to our capabilities and then, there is that time when our kids are able to surpass us, they are capable, creative and because they are in the continuous learning cycle, they are capable of decisions that are impressive even to their parents. Once this happens the parents start to rely on the children and the entire family unit compromises the age and experience of the parents for the perspective of the children. Although it is refreshing to see the children add to the movement and progress of the family, it would be far more effective to have both the parents and the children add to the brain trust at the same rate.  This is only possible if both the children and the parents are learning while teaching the generation that comes after them.

There are those who are able to follow this principle but there is a large group that may not be, and this blog is to awaken to the tune of my epiphany, be a parent, teacher and student all in one.  This would be a powerful synergy because:

1. Learning creates an elasticity of perspective that presents the opportunity to analyze situations and create solutions vs. enhance the difficult aspects of daily life. Creatively solving  a problem lessens judgment and enhances positive communication within the family, this creates an environment that is tolerant, forgiving, forward thinking and is a source of security and bonding within the family 
2. It allows the parent to better understand why some facets of learning are easier said than done.  If something is not as exciting to take on, there are creative ways to make it more palatable and, if as a parent you are willing to be a student too, you will find better tools to help encourage yourself and your children to take on something new and reach goals that might seem lofty at first
3. As a parent who decides to be a student for life, and in many cases may be the role model for the child, see a parent consistently learning, motivates the children to want to do what the parent is doing.  When the parent is able to create an A-Ha moment for the child because of an educated perspective, that the child can relate to, it is held in high esteem and children are motivated to follow suit
4. As a parent who is also a student, you may notice that the child is not readily inclined to dismiss the parents point of view, there is a mutual respect for each individuals student capability.  Interactions are more curious, and more often create learning opportunities for all.

I personally, am inclined to engage in an interaction, be it with my parents, family, friends and colleagues, that allows space for emotional intelligence, educated perspectives and tolerant difference of opinion while continuing to find a united purpose. In this type of engagement, the solution, if one is required is richer as a result of the perspectives engaged in the solution process.  To grow is natures way, to learn as you grow is a conscious decision.  I urge you to feed the soul that thrives within this body glove, for the time is finite, but the opportunity limitless.  I urge you to be  student for life,  the parent student who continues to maximize your potential to be optimal in every way!